Homosexual Taliban

I’ve been asked to carry on writing these so I will. Also, I have nothing better to do.  Oh and the title “Homosexual Taliban” is a quest to make this easier to find on Google.

This weeks been a fairly stereotypical one for an unemployed graduate student. Basically, sitting around the house listening to the house phone ring wondering if I should answer it and shout abuse down the phone or just ignore it and hope the call centres give up. Its so frustrating as no-one actually uses house phones anymore so you know its just going to be automated spam. The only time people use house phones in this day and age is when they lose their mobile phones inside the house and need to ring it.

Other than that noising me up, I did some delivery driving in the snow on Tuesday. The only highlight was when I pulled the van over to take a sneaky whizz at the side of someones garden then fell over the fence when trying to make a quick getaway. After rolling around the ground for a good 30 seconds I got in the van and had to make the rest of the deliveries sodding wet. However, everone hasn’t shut up about the snow on the back of a heat wave so I’m not going to add to it.

What has been weird this week is the hosepipe ban for 20million people in the south of the UK. We live on an Island surrounded by water! Ridiculous! Word has it that the government now want to ground planes because we’re running out of sky. I’ve also been hearing black guys haven’t been getting blowjobs due to woman misinterpreting the hosepipe ban. Sad news indeed.

The Masters started on Thursday. After 4 days of ups and downs, highs and lows, Golf fans finally concluded that YES! Hazel Irvine would get banged! Weirdly, adrenaline junkie/ex England Cricket captain Michael Vaughan was conducting the player interviews for the BBC. Apparently  Cricket wasn’t exciting enough for him so he turned to Golf.

On Saturday the boat race between Oxford and Cambridge was the other big sporting event of the weekend and for once it was interesting. Some guy jumped into the river mid-race and caused unmitigated outrage. Rumour has it he was so bored that he tried to drown himself. Other reports suggest he was cleaning his car during the hosepipe ban and simply fell in while he was filling up his bucket. Whatever the reason, police have said the culprit is unable to stand trial as he swallowed a mouthfull of the Thames and now has Smallpox.

Then today it was Easter. A celebration of the resurrection of Jesus. What that has to with Chocolate, Eggs and Bunnies is beyond me. However, I might not be religious but I am partial to a Chocolate Egg (just like Jesus).

Acutually, I nearly forgot the Heineken cup quater finals were also on this weekend. Edinburgh caused an upset by making the Semi-finals for the first time in their History. I’ve got tickets for the final in London so fingers crossed they can make it (great sesh). If not, Im just happy to watch something live that doesnt involve someone called Jasmine popping up infront of me.

Other than watching sport and making shit jokes, this week has just been training and recording audio notes with my guitar and sending them to people on whatsapp. For those asking about New Zealand Its actually on hold just now. There are a couple of issues but I dont know much so Im now kind of in limbo. Fingers crossed it works out and hopefully its all good.

Cheers the now

2 comments on “Homosexual Taliban

  1. doctorjey says:

    Hi! Great to read about how other people are dealing with graduate unemployment too! I wrote a blog about it today in fact, check it out if you have a moment! 🙂

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