The highlight of the last week was finding out that someone typed “Hazel Irvine blowjob” into Google and found this blog. I’m not sure if that reflects worse on the blog or the person who whould actually google that. If you don’t believe me do it yourself, its at the bottom of the first page. It’s also possibly the reason for the strange leap in hits. So yea Cheryl Cole blowjob , Angelina Jolie anal , Frankie Sandford shaven. Sorry but its worth a try.
The rest of my time wasn’t spent job hunting or being productive. It was spent getting drunk and naked in Aberdeen. Good times. To continue the Lowbrow theme to this blog however, the big news in Aberdeen was that one of the lads (name rhymes with Boaby Ellapee) manged to masterbate 19 times in one day. Unbelievable just… unbelievable. As human accomplishments go I put that up there with putting man on the Moon, a truly unbelievable act of Human Endevour. The emotional and physical turmoil that one must go through to achive such a feat is incomprehensible. He should be given an O.B.E or at least a place in the next Avengers Movie. The Avengers 2- The Hulk, Thor, Iron Man, Captain America and the guy that wanked 19 times in one day (O.B.E). The weird thing is he said it was a competition and that he came 3rd (no pun intended). How? Who came first and second?? Coincidently, the same day I read a fact on twitter that said a 16 year old Brazilian boy died after wanking 42 times in a row. I’m not sure if he drowned or died of exhaustion but apparently that giant statue over looking Rio De Janeiro is a memorial to him. Faith in the human race=Restored.
I suppose I better clean the patter up a bit now.
Today I woke up to find Great Britain has slipped back into the recession. I looked out the window only to see vast looting and killer Robots burning down buildings. Nah Im just being silly, I never really. What’s the point in telling us though? We would never know and it just makes things worse. Its the same people that said we are in a drought and need to conserve water. “The Environment Agency has five flood warnings in place in south-west England, a region currently in drought ” (BBC). Politicians are fucking idiots. Having said that maybe with this recession RBS can go bust again, can’t get bailed out and all my debt is cleared. Then no more need for the blog.
Dear blog… Jackpot!